Attack of the Killer To-Do List

Last Friday I had a bit of a problem dealing with my to-do list. It was all chronicled on Twitter. I thought I’d post it here for your amusement.

9:48AM My to-do list today is staring at me. It looks hungry.

10:43AM My to-do list just slapped me in the face. I don’t think it respects me.

11:05AM Becca just surprised me with Whataburger. I need it today. Take that to-do list. Someone loves me.

12:07AM Ok, my to-do list just ate the last of my fries! Come on!

12:57AM After that last tweet my to-do list laughed at me and then said something disparaging about my mom. I think I’m losing control of the day.

1:06PM @mxbx It’s funny unless you’re here getting kicked around by a to-do list you created.

1:41PM My to-do list just told a joke. It was at my expense but I have to say it was pretty funny. It really hates me today.

2:43PM @mxbx My to-do list was too busy strangling me to notice the rocks that bounced harmlessly off it. Could you all the National Guard for me?

2:45PM @mxbx I should have been “call the National Guard.” The to-do list was biting my fingers while I was typing.

2:49PM @mxbx I think it’s the nuclear-waste dump under my house causing it. I try not to give things that hate me special powers. Happens anyway.

3:17PM The mutant to-do list is threatening to eat the cat in my office. I’m thinking of letting him.

3:55PM The to-do list tried to eat the cat, choked and threw up on my shoe. I need a new shoe. And a new cat. And a less violent to-do list.

5:36PM I told my to-do it was 5 and I was going to take a break. It hit me with a stick and told me to get back to work. This is embarrassing.

7:08PM @chrisfromcanada My to-do list says I’ll never be going out of a Friday night again so I don’t get an opinion. It’s been mean to me all day.

9:20PM @chrisfromcanada The to-do list said to tell you he’s never leaving. Also his dad can beat up your dad. He’s really on a roll.

9:39PM @chrisfromcanada Anger issues? I look at the to-do list and I get punched in the nose and told to get back to work. No anger issues that I can see.

12:56AM My to-do list is snoring in the corner. I’m going to go get a few hours sleep before it wakes me to work more.