I crawled out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. My legs and feet ached badly. I stumbled into the bathroom. Tired eyes stared back at me from the mirror.
“Why do my legs hurt so bad?” I thought.
“Because you weigh too much, tubby,” my body answered back.
“Wow, thanks for that,” I said.
“Don’t look at me. You’re the one who always wants ‘one last piece of pizza.'”
“Look, I did good during the summer. All the swimming and getting you back into shape.”
“And what did you do when it was too cold to swim? You aren’t a bear. You don’t need the extra fat to survive the winter.”
“Why do you always bring this up right before January 1st?”
“Why do you insist on eating like a fool during Christmas? You think I want to be on your failed list of resolutions for another year?”