Why me?

As we sat in the hospital, awaiting Conner’s test results, I thought back to a blog post I had just written the day before. I reflected on the fact that when bad things happen to us, my first thought is usually asking “why me?”

This time we started the day with Conner having severe stomach pain. We took him to the doctor and they feared it might be his appendix about to burst. We rushed him to Dell Children’s hospital. After hours at the hospital (and, I fear, a lot of money) we found out it wasn’t his appendix. Just the flu. They sent us home with nary a prescription drug. So basically we started the day with the knowledge he had the flu and needed lots of Powerade. We finished nine hours at the hospital with the knowledge that he had the flu and needed lots of Powerade.

Seemingly pointless.

God knows we really don’t need the stress of trying to pay for an E.R. visit (Even with insurance, it’s insane. Don’t get me started.) So what gives? For once, I didn’t ask “why me?” I felt like God had me there to pray for people. I wasn’t sure what that looked like, so I would silently pray for people as I saw them. Each time I’d ask God if we could go home now. It felt like I was just talking to myself after a while.

Eventually I had to leave to get the other two boys. Becca called me shortly after I left and told me life could be much worse. She had heard a dad outside our room crying on the phone because they’d just discovered a tumor on his infant daughter’s kidneys.

That was the one we were supposed to pray for.

There was no doubt in my mind that Conner was suffering from the flu at that exact moment so we could be at Dell Children’s Hospital and pray for that little girl and her family. It was one of those moments of clarity that faith rarely affords us. I prayed for them. I asked God to heal her, to comfort their family and thanked him for having us right where we were. Whether he healed her or not, he was using us in his plan and that meant something. I then posted on Twitter and Facebook for people to pray for this little girl.

Days passed and I received a Facebook message from a friend who asked when we were at Dell. I told her and she informed me that she knew the girl I was praying for. She gave me an update and said the one-year-old made it through surgery to remove the life-threatening tumor. I’ll be honest I might have teared up a little. I’m 90% sure it was the allergies. But there’s that 10% that might have been real human emotion.

Why was my son sick? Why did he have to suffer? Why did we have to worry? Why do we have hospital bills?

Why me?

Because God is good and does good.

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